Battle of the Bands
by Jedi Goat
Summary: GoF AU silliness. The long story of why the Weasleys were so late to collect Harry from the Dursleys, which began, oddly enough, with Mr Granger's fateful discovery of Guitar Hero. Very very slight FredxHermione.


**Battle of the Bands**

Jedi Goat

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter. Or Guitar Hero.

Author's Note: I am well aware that the very premise of this story is an anachronism, and that the Wii, flat-screen TVs, and _Guitar Hero_ did not exist in 1994. We shall ignore that fact. Also, just for the record, I have only played _Guitar Hero_ once, at a friend's place, and I still have no clue how the game works. :D

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"Dad? What _are_ you doing?"

Hermione stepped warily into the living room, with difficulty dragging a bulky trunk in her wake; her incredulous stare lingered on Mr Granger, who had been fiddling around with the TV for some time that morning and now stood with the semblance of a guitar in one hand and the white Wii remote in the other. Both Hermione and Mrs Granger had been sufficiently bemused when he purchased the gaming console earlier in the summer, as neither would have taken the wiry, slightly balding man for a gamer; but he insisted it to be an early birthday present.

Now Mr Granger glanced up and smiled slightly. "I'm just figuring out this new game John lent me from the office. It's called _Guitar Hero _– it's all the rage these days, apparently. Here – why don't you join me?"

Hermione was about to politely refuse; she had evaded all contact with her father's new obsession since the beginning of summer, since she really had no time to spare in between reading her new textbooks and brushing up on her theory ... Today, however, the words died on her tongue; guiltily she stared at the trunk lying at her feet, knowing that that very evening she would be leaving to spend the rest of the holidays with Ron's family. It was the least she could do to spend a little time with her Dad before she left ... She _had_ finished packing already, and the Weasleys weren't arriving for several more hours...

Smiling faintly, Hermione dragged her trunk over to the fireplace, out of the way, and rejoined her father in front of the flat-screen TV. He proffered a second guitar and she clutched it awkwardly in front of her, bemused by the apparent lack of strings.

"Shall we?" said Mr Granger, grinning.

They played through the tutorials, and then through the first few songs on 'Easy' mode, Hermione adopting a very familiar focused furrow to her brow as she hammered at the colourful square fret buttons. Mr Granger, she quickly learned, for all his love of games, was notorious at this; and she, after her first song, was slack-jawed to see a percentage mark that had never, ever been used in regard to her own name.

Mr Granger laughed at their abysmal scores and Hermione's horrified expression. "We're probably just getting used to the keys," he assured her. "Let's try this one here – I remember this song –"

They tried again: Hermione struggled valiantly, but it was hard to line up with the notes on screen and remember to strum at the same time. She was growing frustrated with herself when very suddenly Mr Granger broke out into the chorus, air guitaring admirably at the same time. "Hit me with your best shot, c'mon and hit me with your best shot –"

Hermione couldn't stop the giggle rising in her throat. "Dad!"

"What?" said Mr Granger with a broad grin.

She fought to stop from smiling in exasperation at the horrible singing. "Well, for one thing, the singer's a _woman_ –"

In their distraction, they failed the song miserably, but neither noticed. Hermione, still shaking her head, very suddenly caught herself; why_ had_ she been getting so upright about this, anyway? It wasn't like her ability to play _Guitar Hero_ would ever come into play in her future. She pictured Ron and Harry's exasperation to see her still trying to overachieve at a video game. _Maybe they were right, _she thought, _maybe I am out of practice at having fun_.

When the score screen came up, it was without hesitation that Hermione pressed 'Retry'. This time she was determined: by the first chorus she and her father were both singing along loudly, neither caring what they must have looked like to a curious Mrs Granger peering into the living room: jumping up and down in front of the TV, Mr Granger supplicating such overzealous arm gestures and head-banging that he resembled an amateur rock star.

Three hours later, they were still avidly playing _Guitar Hero_ – and failing – when green flames surged up in the fireplace next to them. Hermione dropped her remote with a startled shriek and ran to the fireside to grab the arm of the redhead who had just staggered out of the hearth.

"Oh, hey," said Fred Weasley, brushing a bit of soot off his sleeves. "Good, this is the right place, I _told_ George it was the right place –"

There was another roar of flames and his twin appeared beside him, nearly staggering into the two of them. "This is cozy, but mind moving? Ron's coming in a sec –"

Hermione nodded and ushered them away from the fireplace. The Weasley twins glanced curiously at the game setup, but wisely did not ask about the strange inventions of Muggles. A few moments later Ron joined them, and Hermione briefly hugged her friend before Mr Weasley appeared in the fireplace.

"Ah!" he said. "All here, good. Good to see you, Hermione." He extended his hand to Mr Granger; as they shook his eyes lingered on the flat-screen TV, and Mr Weasley's face brightened.

"Oh, you have a televiser, do you? I've never seen one quite so big – ah, it must have come with those big remote-thingys, as well. I know all about those." Mr Weasley knowledgeably indicated the two guitars.

"Er –" said Hermione, suspecting the direction this was going. Mr Granger looked politely confused.

"You boys have never played a video game, I'm guessing?" he said instead, looking around at the three redheads.

"A what?" said George, looking suspicious.

Mr Granger grinned suddenly and retrieved one of the guitars. "Here, I'll show you. Do you know what a guitar is?"

"Well, of course we know what a guitar is," Fred said, affronted.

And so it was that five minutes later Mr Granger had set up each of the twins with a guitar and explained its basic functions, choosing a new song on 'Easy' mode. George and Fred faced off as Mr Weasley looked on in fascination, Mr Granger grinned, and Hermione exchanged a half exasperated, half amused glance with Ron; they chose to sit down on the couch to watch the spectacle in the making.

Nevertheless their earlier instructions, the twins evidently had no clue what they were doing; but even so far out of their element they were having a brilliant time making fun of each other. Hermione, watching them, was actually a little curious as to who would win.

"Which button do I press? This one?"

"No, that makes it blow up," George said sarcastically, randomly hitting the coloured buttons. "Take a look, Freddie, I'm beating you."

"Why don't you actually take a look at what you're doing?" Fred shot back.

"– Oh damn." Onscreen a long string of coloured light appeared. George, forgetting that he was supposed to hold down the note, promptly butchered his score. Hermione now had a hand clamped over her mouth, trying but failing to refrain from laughing.

The lead fluctuated between them; but when the game screen faded away to list their scores Fred threw his arms in the air. "Yes! It's over nine thousand! Take that, George!"

"No fair ... I was playing the whole time..." George protested. Hermione rolled his eyes; apparently he wasn't aware that randomly jamming at all the notes at one time didn't really help. Fred had, at least, attempted to play coherently.

"Wait a minute..." Fred frowned at the screen as it now apparently showed off their guitar-playing characters. "Why am I a girl?" Indeed the leftmost one was a woman in cut-off jeans and a halter top and an overdose of dark makeup.

George burst out laughing. Hermione shook her head, "That's me, you're playing my guitar."

"Oh," said Fred, brow furrowed, glaring at George; his brother meanwhile wiped tears of mirth from his eyes and said semi-coherently, "You? Why'd you like a –" apparently he remembered the adult presences still in the room, and quickly salvaged, " – er – not you?"

Hermione decided not to explain the complicated concept of an avatar, and merely shrugged, "It was the best I could do in this game."

Ron got to his feet beside her. "My turn," he said determinedly, apparently confident after having watched them fail miserably, and having learned from their mistakes. They agreed to some sort of winner-stays-on system, and George with a shrug handed off his guitar to Ron.

"Good luck, mate."

"Hey – no, we're switching, I don't wanna be the girl –"

"You're breaking my heart, _Fredita_," George said dramatically, clutching his chest, very narrowly ducking a swipe at his head with a guitar. He flopped down on the couch next to Hermione, grinning broadly.

The next round passed in a similar sort of fashion, both boys struggling, as George cheered on his "sister" and Hermione cheered for Ron.

"George, for the last time, shut up –" Fred growled as he missed an important combo.

"Yes, Ron, almost there – oh no," Hermione groaned; he had missed the combo, too.

Ron narrowly lost the round to Fred, and Mr Weasley in fascination picked up the guitar. "May I?" he said eagerly.

Fred shrugged.

They played again; Mr Weasley zealously pounded at the fret buttons, but for all his energy he had terrible timing. Fred was rapidly improving and it was a decisive defeat. George wolf-whistled.

"Shut up," Fred growled. "I beat you, fair and square –"

Hermione stood up with a sigh. "Last game," she promised Fred, holding out her guitar. They swapped places; George whistled again.

"All or nothing?" said Fred conversationally. Hermione rolled her eyes. She let him pick the song as she repositioned her fingers comfortably over the buttons, her heart beginning to pound.

The epicness of their showdown was ruined somewhat by the fact that Fred accidentally hit 'Insane' mode, and swore loudly as he saw the swarm of notes coming at them onscreen. Hermione abandoned her previous scorn of George's method as she merely tried to hit as many buttons as possible at once; Fred did the same, swearing under his breath all the while.

They were eliminated in under fifteen seconds, and when they turned back it was to a roar of laughter from their audience.

"A new record," proclaimed Mr Granger, who after poring over the game manual that morning could have easily reset the game for them and saved them the humiliation of George and Ron now rolling on the couch, struggling to breathe after laughing so hard. However, he only smiled innocently in return to his daughter's exasperated look.

"I call a rematch," Fred said, narrowing his eyes at George.

Hermione nodded absently before catching a look at the clock on the wall behind them, and she groaned. "It's after five already –"

"Is it really?" said Mr Weasley, quickly checking his own watch. "Oh, dear – boys, we'd better go, we were supposed to pick up Harry half an hour ago."

Mr Weasley beckoned them all back to the fireplace and removed a pouch of green powder from his pocket. Hermione disengaged herself from her guitar and started after them, pausing next to her father.

"Well –" she began breathlessly.

Mr Granger nodded, smiled, and caught his daughter in a tight hug. "You go have fun, darling," he assured her before letting go. "Now then – you'll have to invite your friends over sometime so we can have a proper game."

Hermione hid a grin. "All right, Dad, I will."

As she grabbed her trunk and hurried to join the line in front of the fireplace, Fred in front of her turned around. With a wink and lowering his voice he said, "Good – 'cause I'm looking forward to our rematch, Granger!"

Hermione was very glad he turned away to take a pinch of powder from Mr Weasley, then, as a fine blush spread across her cheeks.

The End.

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